Saturday, May 18, 2013

Rec - What is it? How do I get one? Why do I need it?

I have had many girls ask me about recs recently. There seems to be a lot of confusion around them, and why they are necessary. Ladies, let me tell you - RECS ARE NECESSARY.

1) What is a rec?

A sorority recommendation, or Rec, or letter of reference, is a form filled out by an alum to recommend potential new members to her sorority. The purpose of a rec is to have a member's go ahead on you so that when you go through recruitment, girls know that a member of their sorority has already okayed that you are a good girl to look at.

Many women also include a letter of support to send in with their rec. This is just a letter explaining why you are awesome and should be considered for their sorority during rush! Many PNM's (potential new members AKA rushees AKA girls trying to get into a sorority) will get several recs and letters from alum for each chapter at their school.

2) How do I get a rec?

One way to get them is to get hooked up with your local (as in your hometown) Panhellenic Council. Most places will have them! In most cases, you will need to make a Rush Packet to give to Panhellenic. This will typically include a copy of your transcript, resume, and a few pictures. Please contact your local panhellenic council as well as your school's Greek department to figure out exactly what you need in your packet (or if you even need one). I know for sure that the following schools prefer rush packets (Ole Miss, LSU, Texas, Baylor, Texas A&M, OU, OSU, and Auburn). While I am not 100% about other schools, it won't hurt to make a rush packet. You typically make a packet or two for each sorority at your school (so if there are 10 chapters, make at least 10 packets). Your local Panhellenic will find ladies to write recs for you!

Tip- Use a good senior picture as your headshot, and include one full body picture as well. The chapters will use these to see what you look like. MAKE SURE you still look similar to this during recruitment. So if you are going to drastically cut or color your hair before college, do it now and send in pictures with the change!

Another way is to ask around and find out what ladies in your area are alums for the chapters that you will be rushing for. A lot of ladies will offer to write you recs, and it is okay to ask someone to write you one if you know them well. DO NOT have your mom do this, it is tacky. Be a big girl and call them yourself. A good resource is your mom's friends, and your friends' moms!

UPDATE- A lot of sororities have switched to online recs. Ask your alum what she would prefer- an email of your pictures, resume, etc, or an old fashioned rush packet.

3) Why is a rec important?

Most sororities are not able to give a bid to a girl without a rec for them. So, if you don't have recs and you find out you REALLY want to be a Tri Delt during recruitment, they might not be able to give you a bid even if they loved you, too. Which would be terrible for both of y'all! Some sororities have the ability to get a last minute rec for girls who don't have them, but not all do that. If you didn't put the effort into getting a rec for them, they typically won't put in effort to extend you a bid. Especially when 800 other girls DID take the time to get a Delta Delta Delta rec.

I also advise girls to get a rec for EVERY sorority at their school, even if they don't think they want to be in a certain sorority. You never know what house you will fall in love with, and it would be a shame to not get it just because you thought you wanted to be a Kappa Kappa Gamma with your bestie. You might like Chi Omega and think that the Kappas weren't a good fit for you! Basically, be prepared for anything.

How Social Media can get you blacklisted, and how to prevent it

I know I promised a post about Rec Letters, but I got an email asking about Social Media! So here is my personal opinion about how social networks can affect your recruitment.

1) Instagram- It can kill a girl's recruitment. If you have turned in a rush packet or signed up for rush (if you haven't..go to your school's panhellenic website and DO THAT RIGHT NOW.) then sorority girls are already stalking you. A lot of greek girls debate on whether or not rushees should clean up their profiles. On one hand, you don't want to look trashy. On the other, you don't want girls to get the impression that you are holier-than-thou. I think it is in all girls best interests to clean up their social media profiles at least a little! My rule of thumb is if you wouldn't want a picture blown up on a big screen in front of 200 girls (or your boyfriend's mom), then take it down. This includes any wasted pictures or anything promiscuous. I also wouldn't have a ton of pictures with alcohol in them, but I personally don't see anything wrong with red cups. Also, make sure you have a cute and up to date profile picture! I tell girls to make it of just themselves so stalkers don't get you confused with one of your friends. Yes, it is creepy that a bunch of college girls are stalking you, but it's all part of the game. No sorority wants to get the cute girl during rush who ends up being a psycho slut, and one of the only ways they can tell that is by looking at your instagram.

2) Twitter- Another rush killer. If you are following a lot of people with the name @trashy, @skank and @bitch, you might want to unfollow them for the next couple of months (even if they have hilarious tweets). Girls might associate you with those traits! If you have the tendency to tweet every moment of your life, then I would seriously consider you make your twitter private. You don't want a few tweets to get you blacklisted from the top-tier!

This does NOT mean you should get rid of your social media profiles! I always assume a girl is weird if I can't even find her name and picture online. Just be smart, and make sure you are portraying yourself online the way you want people in college to think about you. Take the time to re-vamp your online image! Sororities don't want trashy girls, so if you appear like that online (no matter how you are in real life) then they will go by what they see.

Keep on sending in your rush and sorority questions to And thanks to Katie (i'll keep your last name and location a secret so it won't affect your rush!!) for sending in my first rushee question!

How to tell your best fit house

First Question of the Day!

"How do I know which sororities are the ones I want to consider?"

-every girl i know.

This question is one of the big ones. How can you tell what sororities would be a good fit for you, and which ones you need to take a bathroom break in during ice water? If you know girls a few years older than you at the school you are going to, then they can be a great resource. I tell girls to ask the question "If you couldn't be in your sorority, which other one would you choose?" That way, the girls are less biased. If you ask them which sorority is the best, they will almost always say their own. If you take theirs out of the equation, then you are more likely to get a real answer from them. I honestly would not trust online websites (greek rank, etc) unless you see a trend in posts. Girls love to get on there and vote for their bottom-tier sorority a million times and mess with the rankings.

Also be aware of the differences in campuses. For example, one sorority might be number one at Ole Miss, and dead last at UVA. Make sure you don't go in with preconceived ideas from another campus. It really does change school to school. Another trap is the alum trap. Just because your babysitter was a Chi O at your school 15 years ago and they were awesome back then doesn't mean they are still the same today. Trust your instinct when you walk into a house! If it feels right, then great. If you notice something off, then pay attention to that feeling even if you heard the sorority was awesome.

Stereotypes are another thing to watch out for. Yes, a lot of them are probably true. But make sure you get your information from a credible source (not a girl from another school and not an alum!) before you judge a house to harshly.

Your best bet is to go into the parties with an open mind. If you get to pref night and are torn between two houses, LOOK AT THE PNMS AROUND YOU. THEY will be your potential pledge sisters, not the girls in the room. Yes, they will be your sisters also, but it is your pledge sisters you will have the strongest bond with.

If you have any questions, please send them to

XOX- TheRushQueen